


almost lover

by jackklineisbaby



Series: Marvel [9]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Song Lyrics, This didn't end the way I thought it would tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-09 23:26:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18927115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackklineisbaby/pseuds/jackklineisbaby
Summary: Loki looks back on the times between him and Thor.





	almost lover

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for any spelling mistakes if there are any!

_Your fingertips across my skin_  
_The palm trees swaying in the wind_  
_Images_

Loki shivered as Thor's warm fingers danced across his cheekbones, the sunlight hitting the two young men perfectly. It was early morning, around 5 AM, and the cool wind helped to make sure the two weren't hot as the sun began to rise lazily. Loki's long, raven colored hair was being blown across his face. Thor would stop burning his skin with his touch to make sure his locks weren't bothering him or tickling him. The palm trees that Loki could see from his California apartment were swaying gently. He loved mornings like these. It helped calm him down after a night of night terrors. Inside, in Loki's bedroom, were pictures strung on strings. They were hung on the wall, depicting many images. Thor and Loki on the beach. Thor in the salty ocean. Their school activity pictures from two years ago when they were a junior and senior. Pictures of them kissing on New Years Eve.

Loki loved them.

 _You sang me Spanish lullabies_  
_The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick_

Thor's voice was soft and smooth as he sang parts of a Spanish lullaby he learned in high school. Loki's eyes opened lazily as he stared up from his spot in Thor's lap. Thor's eyes looked sad to some extent, but they were still the sweet, icy cerulean ones Loki loved. A pale hand laced a tan one, giving a gentle squeeze. A smile was dancing on Loki's face, trying to pull one from Thor. He  _needed_ to see Thor's smile.

 _Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy_  
_I thought you'd want the same for me_

That night, when Loki was cooking in his kitchen, Thor came out from the shower, fully dressed, wrapping his arms around Loki's waist. No words were spoken, but the implications were there. Thor had to go home.

"I can stay for supper, but my father wants me home," he whispered, Norwegian accent heavy, yet somehow light at the same time.

"Well, I hope you like spaghetti. I have to go grocery shopping and it's all I have," Loki responds, continuing to make the dish.

 

As Thor was finishing eating, they got in a fight.

"I'd never want to see you unhappy, Thor!" Loki screamed, a look of shock on his face at Thor's statement.

"I never  _said_ you would want to see me unhappy, Loki. I said it seems like you're using me because  _your father_ doesn't show you love and  _I_ do," Thor responded, taking his plate to the kitchen.

"Leave."

"Excuse me?" Thor asked, turning to look at Loki. "Repeat that, please."

"I said leave. Go. I don't want you here. Not today," Loki was shaking, wrapping his arms around himself.

Thor just stood there, disbelief evident on his face. He didn't look like he believed what he was hearing. His ears had to be failing him.

"I thought you'd want me to be happy, Thor. It's clear you don't want me to, so I want you to leave." Nothing happened. Thor didn't move. "Leave!"

He left after Loki kept screaming for him to leave, to get out of his hair.

 _Goodbye, my almost lover_  
_Goodbye, my hopeless dream_  
_I'm trying not to think about you_  
_Can't you just let me be?_

Loki was sat on his bed, staring at the yearbook from his senior year- only last year. It's hard to believe that all of these kids graduated and were able to go to college, get a job. Hell, he heard that Tony Stark, of all people, found someone he met at college. Stephen Strange is what Loki had heard. Steve and Bucky had gotten together. Bruce and Clint. Natasha and Wanda. Peter Parker and Wade. They all made bets that Loki would be the first one to find a boyfriend, girlfriend, or significant other in general.

He thought he had.

He had an almost boyfriend, an almost lover.

It was a hopeless dream. That's what it was.

Suddenly, Loki's phone was blowing up.

<3 Thor: Loki

<3 Thor: I'm sorry

It went on for minutes. Thor was sorry, he didn't mean to hurt Loki. He wanted -no, needed- him back.

Loki opted to turn his phone on silent.

"Can't you just let me be?" Loki whispered to no one.

 _So long my luckless romance_  
_My back is turned on you_  
_Should've known you'd bring me heartache_  
_Almost lovers always do_

The next day, Laufey called Loki. Asked him how he was doing. Said he was sorry that he hadn't come to visit. Asked if he needed money. Loki said nothing about being heartbroken. He said he was fine for once! He said that he's always welcome to come visit. As for money, Loki said that he didn't want to be a trust fund. He wanted to work hard in his job and earn his own money. If need be, though, he would ask for money. It was a calm and collected conversation for once. Yet, when the call ended, Loki looked at the notifications from Thor.

Twenty texts, two missed calls, two voicemails.

No. Loki would  _not_ give in and respond. He would  _not_ listen to the voicemails or call Thor back. He didn't need a man in his life. He needed to learn to love himself before he could love anyone else.

Loki was strong. Loki was independent.

"So long, luckless romance," Loki whispered, taking down the pictures of Thor. He wouldn't throw them away. He wasn't  _that_ petty. He would just put them in a drawer or their own box so they were safe.

There was one picture he kept up, though.

It was Loki's senior prom. Thor had already graduated, but Loki took him anyways. In the picture -he's pretty sure that Clint had taken it- Thor and Loki are dancing. Thor had  _just_ kissed Loki, and the two were smiling like kids who just got handed the biggest candy bar on Halloween. No. That one would stay up.

Yeah, Thor may have hurt Loki, but he still wanted  _something_ of him in his room.

 _We walked along a crowded street_  
_You took my hand and danced with me_  
_Images_

There was one time Loki had given Thor a tour of Hollywood Boulevard. Clint and Bruce had gone with them, doing cute couple things. The street was extremely crowded. Thor's giant hand laced fingers with Loki's smaller one, squeezing it gently. It was if he were saying that he wouldn't lose him. So, they continued on, looking for their friends. The day was peaceful despite their hectic location. Eventually, they found Clint and Bruce. So, practically standing shoulder to shoulder, the four of them continued their trek through the sea of people.

There was a picture for that day, too. Thor had been extremely protective of Loki when they started walking on the boulevard. In the image, Thor's strong arm was wrapped around Loki's waist, their bodies flushed against each other. They both sported ginormous smiles. Loki enjoyed that day.

He put that picture up.

 _Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy_  
_I thought you'd want the same for me_

A week and a half -or something around that length, Loki lost count- passed by. Thor kept trying to talk to Loki, whether it be texts, calls, or emails. Loki never answered.

But he did today. He didn't know why.

"Loki? Are you alright?" Thor asked as soon as Loki had answered.

"Just peachy," Loki spat out. He was glad Thor couldn't see him right now. His black hair that was usually gelled back was curled around his thin face. His blue eyes had bags under them from not sleeping. He didn't look like he had ate in days, but he did. Not as much, though. All in all, he looked like a fucking mess.

"You don't sound 'just peachy,' Loki," Thor responded. Loki could hear him moving around on the other side of the call.

"I'm  _not_ just peachy, you big oaf. I'm a mess because of our fight and I don't know what to do," Loki whispered, trying to calm down. He would  _not_ cry. He would  _not_ show weakness. Not to someone who didn't want him to-

"-Loki? Have you been listening?" Thor's deep voice made Loki smile inside when he said his name. "I asked if you wanted me to come over."

No. No, don't come over. Loki didn't  _want_ or  _need_ Thor to come over. "Yes, please." Goddammit.

 _Goodbye, my almost lover_  
_Goodbye, my hopeless dream_  
_I'm trying not to think about you_  
_Can't you just let me be?_

Minutes later, though to Loki, it felt like hours, Thor was in Loki's room, holding the sobbing man. Looking around, he realized all but one picture of him was gone. Prom. Thor instinctively held Loki closer to his chest, rubbing his back. He wanted Loki to be happy again. He wanted him to love Thor again. He just wanted his baby back.

"It's okay, darling. I'm here," Thor whispered, kissing the top of Loki's head. He kept his head like that. "I won't leave you again. Ever."

Loki didn't answer. He just held onto Thor tighter, getting his neck wet with tears. The poor thing was trembling.

_So long my luckless romance_   
_My back is turned on you_   
_Should've known you'd bring me heartache_   
_Almost lovers always do_

This romance wasn't so hopeless, after all. Loki opened up about his insecurities to Thor. Thor did the same. They made promises that they would try not to upset the other voluntarily. This relationship had a chance after all. Yeah, Loki's heartache was still there, but it would fade eventually.

 

And it did. The two got married about five years later. Another year or two later, they adopted a little girl named Ase and a little boy named Brant. God-like and sword. Both were Norse names. They loved them both. They were the first of their friend group to get married. So, in some way, the bet was true.

It was beautiful, and it was peaceful. Their lives were complete.


End file.
